Latch

Not the poky rod bit that fastens to the door, just the bit that fastens to the frame.

That is the right name, isn't it? Apologies if I'm mistaken and I got your hopes up unnecessarily. (Of course, if I have got it wrong, please drop me a note and I'll relist with the correct name.)

It's metal and needs four (4) screws.

I have four (4) screws if you want them, but they aren't the originals. They're black.

23 November 2012

WANTED: An adult sized badger costume

A recent sartorial request...

Post ID 25259129
Poster pan1975
Location NR2
Description I'd like a adger costume that is like a babygro suit with a adgers head as a hood.
Date Sun Nov 4 20:12:22 2012

A badger's costume? I mean, when it comes to impulse buying, I'm as guilty as the next man, but a badger's costume? That's bought with purpose. Maybe some browbeaten housewife has found one at the back of her husband's wardrobe and right now is sat on the bedroom floor, blubbing into her tear-streaked hands: "How could you, Adam! You said the badger cosplay was over! I feel so cheap..."  Or maybe she's absentmindedly stroking its snout, thinking "That's it, I'm 45 and if he still hasn't taken me to a Wind in the Willows gala ball, he never will." Or maybe she's simply trying it on for size, saying, "My God! It makes my arse enormous - I look like such an idiot."

As the Moldovans say, misfortune wears a badger's pelt. I hope you find the clothes you seek, Pan1975, but before you suit up, check the karmic price tag, eh?

Four vintage Pac-Man dishes

From the officially licensed MB board game made in the 1980s, these four differently coloured trays were designed for holding marbles, but really you could use them for any number of things, including (but not limited to) cufflinks, paperclips, condiments, stuffed olives, LEDs, nail clippings, screws or, if you really must, marbles.

A perfect Christmas present for the 30-40 something gamer.

23 November 2012

WANTED: Someone to go down the tip for me

Is anyone going down the tip already? We just had remedial work done to our wardrobe so there’s a bunch of chipboard out front soaking up the bad weather. I can’t get down there as my wife’s got the motor and I am way too decrepit to carry it from Lakenham – last Tuesday I walked to Drayton Road with naught but the clothes on my back and my knees are still sulking. So anyway, if you’re passing by City Road en route to the dump, I’d be well grateful if you could take these bits for me. Bless your saintly heart.

5 November 2012

Vintage wood dye

• Tudor Black Oak by Colron (approx. 375ml)
• Antique Oak by Ronseal (approx 300ml)

I've no idea if the colour swatches on the labels are representative as they've been in my dad's garage for more years than I dare entertain. However, if you know anything about maintaining wood, you'll know that Colron and Ronseal are the Mouton Rothschilds of stain, and only get better with years. Christie's would probably lap this stuff up. Not literally of course - they're auctioneers, not idiots.

23 November 2012

Cristal ceramic glazed "border" tiles (in original box)

Fifty (or thereabouts) 4.25 square inch opal white tiles, designed in the studio of H&R Johnson, Stoke on Trent (England).

Suitable for edging and external corners.

Make no mistake: these are the real deal.

23 November 2012

WANTED: Plastic bottles

Well, OK, but I'll need to see the plans before I pony up my stash...

Post ID 25875985
Poster Clearseaz
Subject Plastic bottles
Location Lakenham Norwich
Description I would like as many clear plastic 2 litre bottles i can acquire for a making a greenhouse. I will need around 1500.
Date Tue Nov 27 21:59:13 2012

Clothes airer

White. Sheds plastic bits everywhere.

9 November 2011

Clothes rails & fittings

Surplus parts left over from recent work: 2x 0.9m rails + the bits you screw into the wall/wardrobe sides to hold in place (screws not included)

Ideal for anyone looking to suspend their clothes in a nook.

9 November 2011

DeLonghi fan heater (spares or repair)

Works in ever decreasing cycles before conking out. No idea how to fix it. If you've got the savvy, it's all yours.

9 November 2011

Fifty shades of green

Actually only six – just feels like fifty when your bedroom looks like a paintball kill-zone.

Tester pots include:

Olive press (Crown)

Olive tropics (Crown)

Sweet basil (Crown)

Land army (Crown)

Saxon green (Farrow & Ball)

Folly green (Farrow & Ball)

If it closes the deal, I'll even throw in velvet plum (Crown).

26 October 2012

WANTED: Long Soft Pine Needles

A request that amuses on multiple levels, but perhaps most to grammar pedants

Post ID 25193609
Poster TwoSiamese
Location Coltishall
Description I am trying to find long soft pine needles that have fallen off of the tree. I would like them to make baskets.
Date Fri Nov 2 11:23:18 2012

The tree! You know THE tree! The Coltishall Tree! The Coltishall Magic Tree! The Coltishall Magic Tree with the Basket-weaving Needles!

That the Coltishall Tree is somehow magic is of course an urban myth. As any fool knows, it's the elves *inside* the tree that make the baskets.

My sister’s old sticker album

Loads & loads of classic stickers. Including (but not limited to):

• Level 42
• Nick Berry
• Caution Laser Beam
• "Rejoice in the Lord!"
• Snoopy (various)
• Horse & Pony Magazine (various)
• Save Cambridge Veterinary School (two)

 Incredible item. Must be seen to be believed. Honestly, she doesn't want it. She's 34.

12 October 2012

Box of small chipboard offcuts with walnut veneer

Can’t imagine any possible use for them. Can you?

4 October 2012

Setsquare

Clear plastic setsquare, made by Linex (of Denmark)

Three classic angles: 90 degrees, 60 degrees AND 30 degrees

Over 200 mm on longest edge

Great for both isometric and planometric elevations

CANNOT BE USED AS MEASURING AID

28 September 2012

WANTED: tv

Poor Alejandra:

Post ID 25090807
Poster alejandrabas
Location thetford
Description Ineed a tv becouse where i live there is nothing to do
Date Sun Oct 28 21:55:02 2012

She's right of course. It's a dismal panorama from England's highest Norman motte: 21,588 glassy-eyed serfs with idiot-box pacifiers. Heck, they don't even have glue to sniff. And there's only so much you can do with a statue of Captain Mainwaring. 

Mr T coaster

Put your tea on Mr T!

Perfect for fool pitiers.

28 September 2012

Plastic "please do not let your dog foul this area" sign

Approx 150mm wide. Text as per short description (above), but ALL IN CAPS.

Image as follows:

1x Red silhouette of 1x dog (poss. airedale terrier)

1x Pile of dog dirt (black) struck trough with cross (red)

Comes with a hole on either side so you can screw it to your fence or nail it to your wall or tie it round a pole (eg telegraph pole)

DESIGN CLASSIC.

28 September 2012

WANTED: Gravel

By volume, I'm pretty sure this is the biggest ask I've seen:

Post ID 24134859
Poster shazzie1234
Subject Gravel wanted
Description 20 tonne of gravel needed, will need to be delivered
Date Sat Sep 22 22:16:30 2012

"Will need to be delivered"? No problem, Shazzie. You had me at 20 tonnes.

Magnets

Round yellow ones for adhering shopping lists and love letters to fridges, boilers and suchlike AND tiny cylindrical ones that are largely green and good for goodness knows what. Choking hazards by the looks.

This lot also includes a couple of ball bearings and some metal pieces shaped vaguely like circus strongmen. Aside from their affinity with the magnets, these have no purpose whatsoever.

28 September 2012

(Non flatpack) Wooden Wardrobe

Contains rail for hanging things on, shoe rail for leaning shoes on, and mirror for admiring oneself in. Also has a door (with key) and a draw. It's brown wood & pushing 30 inches wide.

Barnados came to collect it today, but despite knowing it was upstairs, refused to tackle said stairs, citing health & safety, insurance and jobsworthiness.

So here's the deal: if you can be bothered to help lift this little fella down the stairs, AND you have a suitable vehicle to remove it from my property, then it's all yours.

It must go sooner rather than later so please say when you can collect.

26 September 2012

WANTED: Jukebox

I'm playing for a jukebox ... Anyone fancy my odds?

Given that about 98% of the population just stick their iPod on shuffle, I figure there must be a whole mountain of good old-fashioned jukeboxes in this county alone.

A Wurlitzer or Rockola would be ideal, but I promise not to be fussy. I’ll stick it in the dining room, in the alcove next to the chimney. I’ve got the 45s all ready.

Nice one - Thanks!

External speakers for laptop/PC

Two desk mounted speakers that plug into the headphone socket on your computer. Require external power source. Approximately beige. Small splash stain on one - possibly gravy? Volume goes to 10.

22 September 2012

Magnetic shapes

All your favourite geometric shapes, to include rectangles, circles, triangles as well as arrows and stars.

Assorted colours.

Made by Edding.

Would look good on one of those office wallchart planny things. Or a fridge.

 7 Sept 2012

NASUWT 2012/2013 academic diary

Chock full of union blather.

Ideal for handbag or cargo-pant pocket.

With approximately 140 sq mm per day, this item could be used to record interesting facts about one's day in shorthand or very small bullet points, making it ideal for anyone whose daily achievements are not necessarily forgettable, but are forgotten nonetheless, perhaps due to hard drinking or caring for small children.

Includes the following bonus months:

• September 2013
• October 2013
• November 2013
• December 2013

7 September 2012

Socket extension wherewithal

• 3x4-way trailing extension socket 
• 1x3-way socket trailing extension socket 
• 1x3-way plug & socket 
• 1xphone cable splitter socket (so you can plug, for example, a fax and landline into the same socket) 

This awesome lot would be perfect for anyone looking to overload their electrics by plugging an additional THIRTEEN items into their home.

Obviously, in the interests of health & saftey, I'd recommend NOT doing this, not least as none of the above items advertise surge protection.

1 September 2012

Cat grooming stuff

Two textured gloves, a regular-looking brush and a more aggressive-looking vaguely wiry brush. Some cat hair may be attached.

17 August 2012

Vintage Toshiba KT-S1 Stereo personal cassette player

This is a bona fide first-generation gem from the very early 1980s. You can plug two set of headphones into this baby! (Headphones not supplied)

Built out of tanks, I swear. If an eagle dropped it on your head, it’d kill you stone dead. Needs 4 batteries and a possible repair .*

Totally awesome for collectors of this kind of thing.

*Definitely needs repair.

11 August 2012

Four (4) Allen keys

3 or 4mm.

Great for furniture assembly parties.

11 August 2012

WANTED: Woman DM needed for D&D based Adult Bachelor Party

OK, so this one doesn’t fit the usual criteria – chiefly because the wanter is prepared to pay real dollar, but the exception is worth the making. I’m pasting it in full, just in case the wanter comes up with a better idea for a stag do - for my money there's nothing like nude falconry…

Woman DM needed for D&D based Adult Bachelor Party (Pringe George's County, MD)
________________________________________
Date: 2012-10-02, 2:02AM EDT
Reply to: f8ft9-3310486791@gigs.craigslist.org
________________________________________

Description:
Looking for a woman with Dungeon Master experience in Dungeons and Dragons (specifically 3.0 or 3.5 editions) to run a game. The event is for a Bachelor Party and the "future husband to be" would prefer if the DM could be topless. With that said, I ensure you that nothing else is expect of you other than an exciting adventure.

Requirements:

• Dungeon Master experience in Dungeons and Dragons (preferably in 3rd or 3.5 Editions)

• Must be able to provide a picture including the face and body (No nudes please.)

• It is preferable that cup size be at least C or greater.

• If books are needed it must be stated ahead of time however it would be preferable if the DM had her own.

Clientele:
There will be 5 "guys" that will be participation including myself. We are at all above the age of 24. Each of us are gentlemen and will treat the Dungeon Master with the utmost of respect.

Compensation:
I honestly don't know how to charge for this kind of service because it's not something typically done so the compensation will be negotiated. It's expected that the session last no less than 30 minutes.

Date:
A day prior to October 11th (The Day of the Wedding) would be ideal.

Location:
The location will be negotiated but priority will be give to the preference of the Dungeon Master.

Any other questions will be answered as needed. Only serious applicants need apply.

Casio Fx-85v scientific calculator (solar powered)

Complete with black case.

Plastic fascia at top needs to be glued back on. Comes with faded stickers of Garfield, Saint & Greavsie, Zig & Zag, 2Unlimited & more.

11 August 2012

Small wooden box

155mm x 20mm x 35 mm approx. Made by the Pier. Once held tea. Great for paper clips or business cards, or maybe elastic bands. Purple squares on the side. Awesome artefact. NO LID.

11 August 2012

WANTED: Ride on Mower

Post ID 21884911
Poster chippyjay
Location NR13
Description Wanted, a ride on mower
Date Fri Jul 6 12:52:22 2012

What, never ridden a mower, Chip? I have! Eat my clippings! Brrrrrrruuummm!

Don’t let your dog poop here sign

About the size of a grown man’s hand span. Comes with a hole on either side. You could nail it to something. Or you could screw it to something. You could even tie it to something. Made of plastic. Despite being mothballed for about 20 years it is a bit yellowed with age. Still, if you want to inform Joe Public where you don’t want dog eggs, this item will totally fit the bill.

4 August 2012

Vintage Bex Bissell Deluxe Shampoo Master

Yes! A bona fide carpet cleaner from way back when! This item benefits from its original box, suggesting – at least to my untutored eye – that we’re looking at a rare artefact from the 1950s. At the very least, the price tag of 72'6 dates it prior to 1971. This vintage household collectible is just the sort of thing they love in the in the Bridewell Museum, but if you’re happy to collect, then I’m prepared to let it stay in private hands. No instructions. Needs dusting.

4 August 2012

Belkin F5U021 4-Port USB Hub

Probably supposed to come with power supply unit (DC 7.5v 2.1A) but I think I previously gave that away when I couldn't recall what it was for.

4 August 2012

Stuff for tarting up cars

• Turtle Wax Color* Magic Polish (“The safe, easy way to shine & protect all paintwork”)
• T-Cut Color* Fast (“The easy way to clean restore & wax your car”) - Dark Blue (“As seen on TV”)
• Toyota Touch-up set (clear lacquer touch up pencil & metallic blue touch-up pencil)

All hardly used, if at all.

*Yes, the packaging is in US English. Their intellectual property lawyers will be more than happy to explain.

3 August 2012

Fancy gold & silver crayons

The sort of thing you use for making brass rubbings, or possibly some other kind of arty-crafty stuff

3 August 2012

WANTED: Classic car

Post ID 21738629
Poster vw_addict
Location norwich
hi I am looking for a classic car to restore do you have anything sat cluttering up your garden or taking up all the garage space? nonrunner or unfinished projects considered. Thanks
Sun Jul 1 00:56:49 2012

Mate, if it's a free classic car you're after then don't sell yourself short! I'm holding out for a 1964 Chevy Impala. In violet. And if don't got hydraulic suspension and spinning chrome rims then don't waste my time.

I am prepared to collect, but only if you've got a dirty great eagle on the bonnet.

Pine cones (some)

Perfect for spraying silver and using as Christmas decorations. In fact, one is ALREADY SILVER!

3 August 2012

Country walking guides

More than 150 illustrated country walks, mainly in England but also some other parts of the British Isles, filed in punched pockets and collated in an A4 ring-binder.

Imagine you gave an infinite number of toddlers an infinite number of highlighter pens. That’s what the folder looks like. I can’t imagine what my mother was thinking when she bought it, although it’s always possible that one of these walks takes you through a peyote farm.

3 August 2012

A whole load of old posters

A very fin de siecle selection of various sizes accumulated by my sister during the 1990s.

Thematically speaking these can be broadly categorised into movies, music & other.

Posters in the first category include Trainspotting and South Park; posters in the second category include Shed 7, East 17, the Beatles and Eden Burning (autographed by band members); posters in the final category include something by Purple Ronnie and some fractals. There may yet be more in there - I can't honestly recall.

Perfect for the person who want to decorate like it's 1996, or if you simply want to wallpaper your shed. You could probably even use them as wrapping paper. 

2 August 2012

WANTED: Fancy Dress

The measure of a nation can be judged by its tolerance; in other words, if I want to dress as a gladiator, it pleases me no end that I no longer have to duck furtively into Mr Benn's outfitter. Not when there's Freecycle anyway.

It also please me greatly that folks such as katieloveskc are happy to leave their choice of costume to an albeit nunless fate:

From: katieloveskc
Subject Does anyone have a fancy dress costume?
Description My friend has a fancy dress party soon and I need a fancy dress costume for it, something a bit more 'flirtatious' as I don't really want to be going as a nun. Thank you!!
Date Sat Jun 9 22:37:14 2012

Of course, there's always going to be people like nancy113, with a slightly eccentric idea of what what constitutes your average wardrobe - size 12 or otherwise:

From : nancy113
WANTED: ring masters top hat and tails
Hi. I'm looking for a circus ringmaster's outfit for my daughter to wear to her 21st Birthday party. A red tail coat and black top hat would be perfect. ladies size 12ish.
Date : Tue, 14 Aug 19:10:45 2012 

Which leads to PureAxelFox...

From: PureAxelFox
Subject wizard of oz child flying monkey costume
Description my 6 year old son needs a flying monkey costume for his school play and do not have a clue where to start,would be really grateful if anyone has one going spare,many many thanks!!!
Date Sun Jul 1 21:54:30 2012

A spare flying monkey costume?! SPARE?! Listen Axel, the day I have a surfeit of flying monkey suits - and I think I speak for everyone here - is the day I hire a new flying monkey.

The sticks in my back passage

Felled a tree at the weekend so there's a whole bunch of sticks in the alleyway behind my house. A few armfuls anyway. Should make good kindling, though I suppose they'd be fine for tanning backsides, if that's your thing. Just keep it consensual, OK?

Wed Jul 11, 2012 12:59 pm

Corporate propaganda

A selection of posters from the Golden Age of corporate communication, to include: "Good customer service delivers what's promised", "Wear your safety gear!", "Always use safe access" & "Be protected - be happy!".

A great addition to any home.

Sun Jul 1, 2012 8:39 pm

Dot matrix printer stand

It's metal coated with a black plasticky substance. It houses the continuous-feed paper at the bottom and the printer on the top.

Designed for home computing in the 1980s, this is totally 8-bit kit. And rare too. Frankly, you're more likely to see a Javan Rhino before you see another one of these.

NB, if you post a rhino on here just to prove me wrong I will totally grass you up to the moderators.

Sun Jul 1, 2012 5:50 pm

WANTED: Small Wooden Boat, Large Clear Plastic Sheet, Tartan Picnic Blanket

From : Eekywuva (Cambridge, Ely)
Date : Fri, 20 Jul 2012 17:35:49 -0000
Looking a few things:
Small Wooden Boat (Doesn't have to be in any particular condition)
Large Clear Plastic Sheet
Tartan Picnic Blanket

Sounds like someone's having a sneaky viking funeral, no?

Four wallcharts from "Personal Computer World"

Posters include The 1985 PCW Basic Converter Chart (x2) AND The 1986 PCW Basic Converter Chart, as well as the PCW Benchmark Chart from some other year that I cannot confirm (the Acorn Archimedes is listed as THE fastest micro, if that helps any?).

I defy anyone to decorate their office with a more awesome wallpaper.

Sun Jul 1, 2012 8:50 pm

WANTED: car door

Freecycle is for helping people in need. Sometimes those needs are general; sometimes they are not. This is the latter:

Hi. I need a car door to replace a dented one. The type of door I need is for a Volvo 940 estate (R reg) rear driver's side.

Sat Jul 14 15:28:33 2012

Obviously I have three of these in my shed, but what colour do you want, sir? WHAT COLOUR?!

Nearly a hundred 3.5-inch floppy disks

Are you still using an Amiga or Atari ST? Then you NEED these! Nearly 100 single-sided floppies (@720k each, I think?) about half of which have probably never been used.

As for you with more cutting-edge hardware, these beauties make excellent beer mats and are ideal for stabilising wobbly tables.

Sun Jul 1, 2012 5:14 pm

Loads & loads of CDs & DVDs for PC

• Windows XP cover DVDs March 2003-April 2004
• PC Plus Cover CDs December 1994-July 2001; DVDs to December 2004
• Tax Self Assessment CD 2000-2004
• And by Crikey, there's more!

This collection represents a bona fide slice of home computing history.

I'd really like it to go to someone whose life goal is to archive the birth of the internet era, but frankly, if these boxes are gone in the next 24 hours you can eat them for all I care.

Sun Jul 1, 2012 4:29 pm

At least 13 ring binders

Nine 4-ring binders, three 2-ring binders & one mini 2-ring binder (ie one with smaller rings that holds fewer sheets). None of these are lever-arch, but you could still file a whole bunch of reams. EASY.

Not enough?! Tell you what, I'll chuck in TWO translucent 25mm-depth Snopake DocBoxes (manufactured from heavy-gauge polypropylene & sealed with a push-lock) and ONE cardboard document folder (sealed with 2 x elastic bits).

Sun Jul 1, 2012 3:40 pm

Double duvet

I have no idea how many togs it has, or how long it was in my parents' loft, but I do know that said loft is clean & dry and that said duvet was safely bagged and stored in a box making it perfectly usable. No use to me, however, so will cheerfully donate to someone who can get here sooner rather than later.

Sun Jul 1, 2012 3:47 pm

Sleeping bag

Not suitable for arctic or wet-weather camping, but fine for indoor sleeping, or for children have bent their parents' ears off about camping in the back yard.

Stored in my parents' airing cupboard for the last decade at least, said sleeping bag has accrued some dust.

It's blue. I want it out of my house.

Sun Jul 1, 2012 3:54 pm

Old carpet and stuff

Just removed the old beige carpet from upstairs master bedroom. To be honest, I made a bit a bit of a dogs breakfast along a couple of sides but there's still plenty left if anyone wants it. Would look good on a compost heap, but I suppose you could always cut it to fit a wendy house or shed. Or small room. It aint a great bit of rug, but I've definitely rented places with worse.

There's also some scraggy underlay and whatever you call those spiky batons you nail to the floor and fasten the carpet to.

Thu May 10, 2012 5:52 pm

WANTED: Skeleton

This week's Weekend Wanted comes from longdog67 in Cambridge:

Post ID 21613417
Description Hi, does anyone have a life-size skeleton they dont need?
Been trying to get hold of one for ages.
Date Tue Jun 26 10:45:25 2012

By my reckoning, that makes at least two of us.

Old holiday snaps

This unique collection of colour photography is almost 3 inches high.

Images are from (but not limited to) such diverse locations as:

• Bath
• Portmeirion
• Prague
• Saragossa
• Greece (islands of Crete & Lesvos)
• Germany (various)
• Italy (Pisa & Florence)
• Australia (Sydney & Queensland)
• Belgium (Bruges?)
• France (Paris, the Alps, Avignon etc)
• Singapore (or possibly Kuala Lumpur)

Also included are various drunk people at various parties and various sober people in an office.

Frankly, the photography sucks. Nevertheless, this assortment is ideal for the casually nosy or anyone looking to reinvent their back story.

Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:11 pm

Thirty sheets of A4 graph paper

Pad used to contain fifty sheets. No idea what happened to the other twenty.

Tiny squares on ONE SIDE ONLY. Reverse is lined (to include margin).

Side 1 could be useful for drawing pixels, proposed room layouts or even graphs.

Side 2 could be useful for drafting essays, shopping lists or plans to rob a bakery.

NB This is the real deal: we're not talking that soppy low-grade blue-line stuff you get at junior school - these lines are all GREY. All of them.

Sun Jun 17, 2012 4:28 pm

A3 pinboard

Comes with a few drawing pins and an A4 poster of Chesney Hawkes (some holes) and a postage-stamp sized picture of Philippa Forrester (somewhat faded). A unique proposition.

Sun Jun 10, 2012 1:30 pm

WANTED: Any sort of bow and arrows

Can anyone help Maclaren1993 with the following request:

I have recently been watching Game of Thrones and after watching, I have been inspired to take up archery as a hobby. If anyone has an old bow slaying around, I would be grateful if they would let me have it. Thanks :) 

Date Fri Jun 29 21:57:40 2012

While we're at it, I've recently been watching Breaking Bad, so if anyone is looking to offload their old   meth lab, you know where to find me. Can collect.

Storage solutions for ladies' shoes

Solution 1: White self-assembly door-mounted rack. Holds 30 shoes.

Solution 2: Metallic extensible floor-mounted rack. No idea how many shoes it holds. Depends how far you want to extend it.

To be honest, these can hold any gender of shoe, but I figured that nothing succeeds like gross generalisation.

Please be aware of the following, however:

solution (1) is better suited to small shoes (ie ladies' or kids'shoes); it is poorly suited to strappy shoes and sandals and hopeless for boots and flip-flops and anything "man-size"

solution (2) is better for heeled ladies' shoes (eg kitten heel, stiletto heel, cone heel, prism heel, puppy heel etc) and dandy male footwear such as cowboy boots and cuban heels; it is rubbish for flip flops and tennis shoes.

Sat Jun 9, 2012 3:51 pm

Old towels

Old blue towels - ideal for animal bedding, post-ablution exfoliation or wiping up spills. Or towel fights, but that's your own business.

Sat Jun 9, 2012 3:54 pm

Cardboard tank for cat to sit in

Cat playhouse in the shape of a heavy assault vehicle. As seen on TV.

Would suit excitable kittens or biddable geriatrics. Totally wasted on my mogs.

Sun Jun 10, 2012 3:36 pm

Knackered looking fireguard

Sure ain't pretty but better than burn marks on your shag pile.

Sun Jun 10, 2012 3:30 pm 

Three chinagraph pencils

You remember chinagraph pencils? I got three white ones. Barely used. Heck, one hasn't even been sharpened. 

Fri Jun 8, 2012 9:41 PM

Two white Apple (Inc.) stickers [Repost due to no-show]

As mentioned previously, these are two bona fide unused stickers of the Apple Inc logo (white) such as would be supplied with the iPod Touch.

Among other things, these could be adhered to your child's stationery to make (for example) an iExercisebook or iRingbinder, thus making them the totally most awesome kid in Year 7, FACT.

Believe me, I wish I could make all your kids this happy. Sadly this is not an option: there are enough stickers for ONE child only.

Don't pass up this opportunity - show your child you love them today!

Mon Jun 4, 2012 10:07 pm

Washing line (& broken clothes line prop)

The old clothes prop broke so we bought a new one. It came with a length of yellow washing line. We don't need it. Does anyone else?

As for the aforementioned clothes line prop... Well, it's still extensible, it's just that the hook bit at the end is missing.

Ordinarily, I'd bin it, but as someone wanted my last busted prop (which was by then rusty and not remotely extensible), Clothes Prop II is a surefire diamond.

Fri Jun 8, 2012 9:32 pm

Stuff from my shed

Shed in crisis. The following must go:

• 1 can spray paint (black)
• 1 can Hammerite (black) - nearly 250ml
• 1 pot varnish (frost) - nearly 400ml
• 2 washing machine hose pipes (ie those things that carry water *to* the washing machine)
• 1 clear plastic looking thing around which one of the aforementioned washing machine tubey things can bend.
• 1 metal chain

I'm no expert, but for the handy among you, there's probably enough there to build a robot, no?

Thu Jun 7, 2012 2:38 pm

Glass light shade

Creamy-yellow smoked ish opaque ish marbled ish 1950s ish. But definitely glass.

My father in law used to have one in the bathroom. My mother in law wasn't posh enough for a bathroom, so she had one in the toilet.

Mon Jun 4, 2012 9:29 pm

Mr T coaster

Square coaster (plastic) featuring image of Mr T. I've used it for both hot drinks and cold drinks and can attest to its functionality.

Mon Jun 4, 2012 10:46 pm

Star Wars stormtrooper Pez dispenser

It's a bit yellowed but it does hold a whole packet of PEZ (not supplied).

Perfect for PEZ curators or Star Wars fanatics.

Mon Jun 4, 2012 10:20 pm

Office chair

Blue, upholstered chair offered. Comes with five wheels and some cat hair. Goes up & down with a pssshhhht noise. It has arms.

Ideal partner to a desk.

Mon Jun 4, 2012 9:25 pm

Two white Apple stickers

Yes - as in stickers of the Apple Inc logo, which is of course an apple.

These GENUINE stickers came with my iPod Touch but I never used them. In other words, they are UNUSED STICKERS.

The list of things on which you could stick them is very long (although not endless; you couldn't stick them to water, for example, and you shouldn't stick them to a cat).

If you're stuck for ideas, I would suggest adhering them to a mauve lunch box or a 12-inch ruler.

As you know, Apple make the iMac, the iPod and the iPhone, so these stickers are in fact really awesome. And there are TWO of them.

Wed May 30, 2012 1:58 pm

Danger/treat as live sign

Left at my parents' house by some contractor or other, this awesome curiosity is about 6x7 inches in size, plasticky and has two holes so you can thread cable through it.

It is also DOUBLE SIDED!

Each side contains the following:

• Yellow triangle with black border and black wiggly arrow (pointing downwards)
• Yellow rounded-corner box (beneath triangle) containing text "DANGER" (black caps)
• Blue circle containing white exclamation mark ("!")
• Blue rounded-corner box (beneath circle) containing text "Treat as live"

Sun May 27, 2012 8:53 pm

Paint match pots

Or paint sample pots - call 'em what you will. I have:

Dulux - Violet white

Dulux - Blue reflection

Crown - Rodeo drive

Crown - Something from the Kitchen/Bathroom range that has lost its label

Perfect for doing the feature walls in your dolls house.

Sun May 27, 2012 8:44 pm

WANTED: 50 Shades books?

People won't just take owt, they'll ask for it and all. So, to kick off an occasional series of guest posts, here's one from l3knights:

hi there i know this is a long shot as they are so popular right now but i didnt know wether anyone has got these books and have finished reading them. 

Wed Jul 4 17:02:40 2012

Clearly this person needs help, so  if anyone out there is trying to dispose of used smut, give me a shout and I'll put you in touch. 


In the interim, perhaps this precis will temper the appetitie: http://bizzybiz.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/50-screams-of-hate.html

Wardrobe rail

Easy to assemble/disassemble freestanding wooden wardrobe rail. Two foot long or thereabouts, with single-storey rack at bottom for shoes or bags.

NO WHEELS.

Requires periodical tightening. Can't explain why. Guess it's just naturally malevolent.

Mon May 7, 2012 3:38 pm

Nisis Easypen G6 Tablet Mouse

Ideal for freehand drawing. HOWEVER! It was made c.2007 so not designed for Windows operating systems later than XP.  ALSO, the manufacturer has ceased trading, so there is no support for drivers etc. If you can find the drivers, you may be able to make it work on later versions of Windows (no idea about Macs). As such, it would be ideal for a tech-savvy someone who

(a) can run XP

(b) can be bothered to surf the web for drivers/support forums etc

NB Plugs in via USB

Thu Apr 19, 2012 10:29 am

Old yellow toaster

This toaster is plastic, yellow, and what, ten years old? Something like that. Reckon it's lived in about six houses with me. At least. And hasn't it toasted, OH MY! Bread, bagels, crumpets, hot cross buns, pop tarts ... Oh the carbs we had together! But now those times are OVER. Ever since it spat off its fat plastic bread-plunging handle last week. I mean, I could just poke down the bread with the remaining stub, or I could apply gaffer tape. But no. Call it a midlife crisis if you will, but I now have a sexy younger model with red and chrome and other tarty bits. So GOODBYE YELLOW, the only thing you can do for me now is get out of my house.

So here's the big Q: Does anyone want an old toaster with erratic handle, or am I taking this baby to the tip?

Thu May 3, 2012 2:46 pm

Plant pots

Possibly a couple of dozen plastic plant pots, various sizes, from about 4-inch diameter upwards. Ideal for springtime re-potting.

Fri Mar 30, 2012 9:30 am

Stuff from my cables box

• Speedtouch modem
• Couple of microfilters
• Headset and charging station for BT Diverse 6350 handset

Ideal for collectors of ICT paraphernalia

Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:33 am

Lovely top soil!

Raising beds this spring? Or perhaps you want to fill a hole? Maybe you just like dirt.

In any event, you need top soil!

I've got at least a half ton of top soil and at least as much rotting turf if anyone fancies some rich soil for composting purposes. It's in my back yard and ready for collection. All you need is a wheelbarrow and vehicle to take it away and I'll help you load it up. I'm around weekends and some days to help shovel (sadly, evenings won't work as the soil will have to be transported down an unlit access path)

Fri Jan 13, 2012 2:41 pm

PS: Rotting turf [separate post]:

Great for compost or filling the bottom of those raised beds you're working on now that Spring cometh (or ought to be cometh-ing).

There's enough to fill a medium-sized car boot. Though whether that's healthy for your suspension is another matter.

Old posters

Godzilla! Attack of the 50ft Woman! Patrick McGoohan! Somebody must want them!

Mon Oct 10, 2011 10:13 am

ikea kitchen hooks

Brushed steel hooks that come with the Grundtal kitchen roll holder (http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/categories/series/08006/)

I figure you can use these to suspend any number of things from one of those kitchen utility rails, assuming you have one. We don't, so they're surplus in this house.

Thu Sep 1, 2011 6:00 pm

Ceanothus

Three, maybe four feet high, roguish looking and in dire need of someone who knows how to lick such things into shape. Dug it up today, so needs replanting asap.

Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:01 pm 

Choisya

Three, maybe four feet high, raffish air and in well up for a new home.

Dug it up today, so needs replanting asap.

Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:01 pm  

Beleagured bay bush

This bay bush (not tree!) is about 3 feet tall and chronically pot bound (pot not included).


Thu Feb 23, 2012 10:06

Old posters

Set of three well-loved posters: Godzilla, Attack of the 50ft Woman & The Prisoner.

They're not faded but they do have some blu-tack/pin-hole damage.

Great for anyone who doesn't want Liberty prints or Cath Kidston on their walls.

Would suit ANY office or bedroom or shed or toilet.

Thu Sep 1, 2011 5:16 pm

Telephone extension cable

It's on a reel that you can extend and then wind up again. Goes on for, oh, a bunch of metres.

Really handy in case your broadband breaks and you need dialup while it gets fixed ... Hey, you remember dialup?!

Perfect for telephone nostalgia parties.

Thu Sep 1, 2011 5:23 pm

Black "Compost Machine" compost bin

Does anyone need a compost bin for their allotment or garden? If so, I have one you can have. It's black, plastic, and, to be honest, dirty. But then again, it has been used for composting. NB, despite the name, it isn't a machine per se. It's just a plastic silo and lid. THERE ARE NO MOVING PARTS. Except maybe a snail.

Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:21 am

Wood

I've got some old wooden furniture that someone might like to set fire to. It was treated with varnish or something many years back, so isn't suitable for barbecues or indoor burning. That said, it has been sitting outside for a couple of years so is not exactly box fresh. This would be ideal for anyone planning a bonfire for Independence Day, Bastille Day, or for that matter the Fête nationale du Québec.

Any takers?

Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:43 pm 

Sony Ericsson phone leads

A charming suite of bona fide Sony Ericsson cables, to include:

phone charger

headphones/mic hands-free lead

USB lead

wrist strap(?)

Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:25 pm 

Dilapidated Buddhas

No, really. Was given fat buddha and buddha head statues but  they got broken.

Fat buddha fell in two after the big frost, and the buddha head fell in two after a cat knocked it off the window sill. Fat buddha's hands also fell off, but we still have them. THE CAT WAS UNHARMED.

Each statue is about a foot tall.

These are IDEAL for anyone loves buddha statues and minor cement repairs. Or perhaps someone planning an artistic statement.

ALSO, there is a third buddha. He's fat and holds skinny candles (not supplied). Not sure what he's made of. He's mainly charcoal coloured where the colour hasn't come off.

It's a great collection, but I am prepared to split if it's not possible to house them together.

Tue Jun 14, 2011 10:27 pm

Some old bricks

Frankly, I'm expecting to take these to the tip. However, if anyone needs a few armfuls of second-hand bricks - some complete with old mortar - well, come to my place and fill your boots...

Tue Jun 14, 2011 10:16 pm

Plastic dustbin

I've got a green plastic dustbin with lid if anyone wants it.

It's old-fashioned in style, which is to say that it is something that Top Cat would look at home in, were it metal. And not green. In any case, it's not a wheelie bin. For most of its life it has contained flower pots rather than household waste, so it's in pretty good repair.

Very useful for a garden or allotment.

Tue Jun 14, 2011 10:13 pm

Shed

My old shed MUST go!

I reckon it's around 4 foot by six foot (total guess) and has a window aperture on the broad side (no perspex in it, however). Could be ideal as garden storage for children or children's toys. Or as a tool shed. Or as a potting shed. In any case, it must go asap. I have only just removed the door, but otherwise it is still standing, ready to be viewed and taken.

Anyone who wants it must be able to dismantle it themselves, as my own dismantling technique is somewhat indelicate in that it  relies on a sledgehammer. Please let me know when you can come for said shed, as my  garden is in crisis till it goes. Also my earhole is in crisis, as my wife won't  let it lie. As such, priority will be given to whoever can get here pronto.


Tue Jun 14, 2011 2:50 pm

Remington hair clippers

I have a Remington corded hair clipper set that I'm looking to get rid of.

It includes left & right taper combs + combs for grades 1-4,6&8.

It's fine for casual/domestic use although the blades should really be cleaned and re-oiled (I used wrong grade of oil on it...).

Can be used for crewcuts, French crops and skinheads, as well as shaping sideburns.

Not suitable for professional hairdressing.

MEN: if you think you're losing the baldness battle, it's already too late.

Trust me - I'm through the looking glass now. Bite the nettle and CLIPPER IT NOW!


Wed May 18, 2011 3:30 pm

Kitchen cupboard storage thingies

I've got two semi-circle shelves that hinge into a kitchen corner cupboard to make it easier to access stuff in the far end of the recess.

They're made of metal (wire-like).

Apologies for terrible description... But are they any use to anyone?


Mon May 16, 2011 2:20 pm

Brother MFC-425CN all in one printer/fax/scanner

It's used, but back in its box.

It has a sheet-fed scanner, but can flat-bed scan as well.

It has picture card slots (eg SD/XD)

It thinks its yellow cart is empty. It isn't. But you can't reason with these things.


Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:16 pm

Office chair

One chair on offer.

Said chair is black with faux leather-effect finish and two plastic arm rests.

It goes up and down with a psshhhhtt noise and has five wheels.

I think it was bought in Staples. The fire-safety ticket is awol, but as it's not yet six years old, it's not like it's one of those poisonous fire hazard chairs they used to make in the 1960s. Nonetheless, I do not recommend you fall asleep in it while smoking.

I'm 5'10" and my shoulders lean against the cushiony head-rest bit, so I reckon this would probably be best for not overly tall folks. or kids.

However, if you are Kareem Abdul Jabbar, you could probably use said head rest as a lumbar roll.

Mon Mar 29, 2010 6:33 pm

Dyson DC04 ---> *needs repair*

It feels like the power lead has worked its way loose from the appliance (probably been stood on one too may times).

If it's not possible to screw/solder this back into place, then my guess is that a new power lead should do the trick.

Unfortunately, my maintenance skills extend no further than changing the fuse and emptying the dust chamber, so I've bought a Vax instead.

This vacuum cleaner is ideal for someone who knows how to put things back together and has really dusty carpets or perhaps offspring with really dusty carpets.

Also a lovely gift for collectors of housekeeping ephemera.


Mon Mar 15, 2010 8:12 pm

Stepladder

One stepladder up for grabs.

Said ladder is largely brown, with addition of white, yellow and blue emulsion.

It has five wooden steps for use in the stepladder position, and a broadly similar number of metal bars that function as rungs when ladder is extended full tilt.

It is not made of aluminium.

Weighs somewhere between 12-14 kg. Probably.

Great for:

• Accessing lofts
• Decorating picture rails
• Changing light fittngs
• Trimming medium-sized conifers
• Washing the roofs of Luton vans
• Experiments with gravity
• Not suitable for washing second-floor windows or jousting

Tue Feb 9, 2010 12:56 pm

Hotpoint larder fridge

We have a new kitchen with a fitted fridge so need to rid ourselves of the old free-standing one.

It's a Hotpoint Iced Diamond fridge, although the "Iced" bit is somewhat misleading as it's a larder fridge (ie it has no ice box). Of course, if we're getting pedantic, I should also add that it's not made of diamond either.

It's aged under six, and is white, has glass shelves and a wine-bottle holder.

Heck, I'll even throw in the egg holdery things from the new fridge.

According to the instruction booklet (which you can also have) it has a drain for defrost water. You will need to (I quote) "periodically check and clean the hole of the drain, which is located behind the fruit and vegetable crisper, so that the water drains properly". Either that or you'll have to wipe it every couple of days.

Tue Jun 2, 2009 8:20 pm

Daylilies

Orange daylilies up for grabs.

Currently look like a load of dirty bulbs and an eruption of leaves (green).

Not quite sure how many as they're all clustered together - More than an armful though.

Am not qualified to give horticultural advice but missus says they're happy in any aspect. I am, however, qualified to give a wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daylily

Any takers?

Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:48 pm

Kettle

I have a cordless white plastic Phillips kettle if anyone wants it?

1001 uses, including boiling water for:

Coffee

Cup-a-soup

Hot pop

Breakfast tea

Peppermint tea

Fennel tea

Camomile tea

Darjeeling tea

Ceylon tea

Assam tea

Green tea

Jasmine tea

and delivering babies (towels not supplied)

Mon Mar 16, 2009 6:29 pm

Blank VHS tapes

Does anyone still use VHS tapes? I've got almost a yard of them up for grabs.

Afraid I've no carrier bags though, so any collector will need own vessel for transport.

Mon Mar 16, 2009 6:17 pm

Flatpack wardrobe

We've got a big ol' flatpack wardrobe up for grabs. It's a bit more than a metre wide (I think) and has two pale/neutral doors + an additional section + door that goes on top. The top section is large enough to hold a king-size duvet and 4 pillows – at least, that's what we used to keep in it anyway.

The sides are wood-effect laminate

I reckon it's Scandinavian and it probably dates from the late 1970s.

It is dismantled and ready for collection.

It does need a wipedown, however, as has been in the loft for a couple of years.

Collector will likely need a hatchback or van, as back panels are pretty big.

Or a hearse - it'd definitely fit in a hearse.


Sat Nov 22, 2008 4:01 pm

Frigidaire washing machine

The washing machine works - it's only 5 or 6 years old - but needs some new door parts (sooner rather than later).

The cost of labour on top of the parts is too expensive for me, so I've bought a new machine. However, the old washer would still be suitable for:

(a) someone who could fit the parts themselves;

(b) someone who only needs a washing machine to last for a few weeks;

(c) someone who wants to use it for parts; or

(d) a collector of old washing machines

Sun Oct 29, 2006 5:20 pm

Saws

I have four *old* saws that are cluttering up my shed, and have been for a long time. They have suffered damp times, so the blades probably need replacing, so perhaps I should really describe them as saw handles? They're different sizes. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head etc. Hope they can be useful to someone.

Fri Oct 6, 2006 6:21 pm

Shelf brackets

It's a bag full of white spurs of 3 different sizes. Perfect for someone who's just moved house and, er, needs more shelves.


Fri Oct 6, 2006 6:24 pm